This year did not turn out the way I expected. Who I was at the beginning of this year is not who I am now.
I feel like I have been altered on a soul deep level.
There are few similarities between the life I projected out into the future this time last year, and the one I am currently living.
A lot of this has to do with my love of research and planning. I like to see the road out ahead of me and anticipate what's coming. When I commit to something I read up on the subject at length and create whole files dedicated to ensuring that I am prepared for all potential outcomes, but that's just not realistic. That's not how life works.
There is no way for me to foresee everything that lies ahead. It is not possible for me to plan for all of life's circumstances, and these are truths that I have been working through and am still in the process of making my peace with. Doing this has required that I stop micromanaging myself.
Everything in life does not need to come attached to a deadline.
There have been (and I am sure will be) many times when I get so caught up in the end game that I forget to enjoy the process of creation. Milestones are wonderful and should be celebrated, but the milestones are the highlight reel. All that stuff in between: the struggle, the hard work, the tears, the determination, the good days, the bad days, is what make the wins so sweet, because you know all you did to get there.
My 2015 was a very goal-driven year, and there is nothing wrong with that. It taught be a great deal. But I want to try something different in the year to come.
2016 will be a journey-driven year.
A year to fall in love with creating again, and a year to give my head a break, so that I can listen with my heart for a little while.