When I turned 30 I created a list of 30 experience for my 30th year of life. I put tangible experiences on there, but I also added items that were more about a shift in mindset, little ways in which I wanted to live my life differently. One of those items was "Do something COMPLETELY outside my comfort zone" (#18). When I wrote that down I imagined an instant, a single event where I would do something that scared me. Maybe I would finally go skydiving with my husband, or run a marathon, or go on a vacation all by myself on a whim (I am not a solitary person). I had no idea what doing something outside of my comfort zone would become a way of life.
I have always wanted to be a writer. As I was growing up I wanted to be a writer and a teacher, a writer and a firefighter, a writer and a lawyer and within the last decade I've settled into a writer and a midwife, but writer is always there. But it was not until this year -August of this year to be exact- that I finally decided to go for it. And it was a scary decision to make. There are certain securities that come with working a 9 to 5 and choosing to be a writer, for me, meant giving up on some of that.
I worried that when I sat down to write the words wouldn't come. I worried that no one would want to read my stories. I worried that I wouldn't be able to financially contribute to my family. I worried about a lot of things. But, I made the choice to write anyway, and now I live in this place that is new each and every day. It's a little bit scary, but it's also exciting and the culmination of a dream I've had for as long as I can remember.
Sometimes I backslide and second guess myself and consider giving up, but I have an amazing support network that reminds me why I'm doing this even when I can't remember (or am willfully choosing not to remember) myself. I'm doing this because I love it, and because I want to spend my days pouring my heart into work I feel passionate about.
I couldn't be happier to have left my comfort zone behind.