Below is the fourth week of my daily ten observations. To learn more about my daily ten, and read the observations that came before these, you can read all previous posts here.
TEN. TWENTY-TWO.
1. Ah, there is the sunshine.
2. I wake up and wait for him to move, wait for him to tap good morning on the inside of my belly.
3. Little bear, little baby and me.
4. It is possible to be in love and enraged at the same time.
5. My little girl will be ten 2 months from today.
6. We are all moving a little more slowly this morning.
7. This lucky bracelet she made me is never going to fall off.
8. I think he grew some more in the couple days he was gone. He seems different somehow.
9. Itchy belly.
10. I have a lot to be grateful for.
TEN. TWENTY-THREE.
1. Last night I heard the chirp of crickets, but only a faint cicada song. Has their season come and gone already?
2. When my mornings are productive, the whole day feels more productive.
3. He tells his father his chest keeps shaking, and his father stops what he is doing to place his head on his son's chest and listen. He smiles up at the little bear and tells him he is ok, and I am so in love with both of them.
4. I think my irritation with our nation is making me irritable in general.
5. He is full of questions.
6. I was so sure before, but now I am backpedaling.
7. A little self-care goes a long way.
8. She has written beautiful words, and made a beautiful story, but she is still just a person. I need to stop placing people on pedestals.
9. I need to get better at networking.
10. The universe has its own timing.
TEN. TWENTY-FOUR.
1. I like feeling useful.
2. I still attach too much of my own worth to a dollar amount.
3. The air is so thick this morning.
4. I'm so happy that she still loves when I read to her.
5. I have been moving words around in my head all day, but I can't seem to get them to fit together.
6. The wind is picking up. The rain is coming.
7. The sky looks different out each window.
8. What shade of orange is that? It's so eerie.
9. It's starting to feel like I may never finish this book.
10. My patience is selective.
TEN. TWENTY-FIVE.
1. There is barely any breeze, even this early in the morning. The trees are still, except for the little one in the middle.
2. This is a good problem to have.
3. Sometimes I wish we lived in the city. It's usually when I'm hungry.
4. I needed that note from myself.
5. The hotter I feel, the more irritable I get.
6. I need to be more flexible with how I define productivity.
7. Even though I still lean toward white, black and earth tones, I am doing a much better job of adding vibrant pops of color into my wardrobe every now and again.
8. My hips are making room where I thought there was no more room left to be made.
9. So much pressure.
10. I think I can feel each of his ten toes.
TEN. TWENTY-SIX.
1. I love mornings like these.
2. This breeze is everything.
3. Cicadas in the daytime. I thought they were gone. Clearly, I was wrong. Maybe their schedule just changed.
4. Pickles. Pineapples. Raspberries and strawberries. There is no rhyme or reason to this combination, but it's so delicious.
5. Black Boy Joy and Black Girl Magic. Still. Always.
6. I like eating dinner this early.
7. Getting in and out of the car is getting increasingly difficult.
8. I don't remember the last time I was here, but this ice cream is delicious.
9. I don't mind it being just the two of us.
10. I can't wait for my gums to finish healing.
TEN. TWENTY-SEVEN.
1. Some mornings will feel like this. Don't resist them, resisting them just makes it harder.
2. It is ok to not be ok.
3. I watched her stories and they said, "Believe that you can do it all," and for some reason I felt a little better.*
4. Peppermint and honey and coconut milk and long, slow, deep breaths.
5. My body is tired.
6. I am longing for a place I have never been.
7. Should I be more excited about this? I feel like I should be more excited than this.
8. Even though I'm starting to feel like I might be ok, I find tears sneaking into my eyes.
9. He's so unlike himself today. My poor baby.
10. Laundry, laundry and more laundry.
*The her I am referring to is Alisha Sommer. She is the lovely woman who inspired me to begin these daily ten observations.
TEN. TWENTY-EIGHT.
1. I feel so heavy. But then I go back and read her words, "the universe cannot give you more/with all that you're holding onto," and think about what I can let go.*
2. I don't know that there is anything more important to me than being the best I can for my kids every day.
3. I am trying to assume the best of people. Unless of course they have provided me with overwhelming evidence that that would be foolish on my part. I am working on becoming a more compassionate person, not a doormat.
4. Somehow I can still feel the humidity -- even with the windows closed and the AC on.
5. Today has been hard, but I am still grateful for it. Grateful that I have the ability to care for my baby, and grateful that he knows his mama has him.
6. I have been trying to will myself up from this chair for at least ten minutes.
7. It's barely 8pm and it's already dark. Summer went so fast this year. Does it feel that way every year?
8. Quiet time with the mister. Him doing his thing, me doing mine, but still together.
9. I've almost finished reading the book. I'm surprised by how proud this makes me feel.
10. So hungry.
BONUS. My anniversary is in one week :)
*The her I am referring to is Kenya Raymer aka HalfieTruths. I follow her on Instagram (I love her page) and found these words there.