Below is the ninth week of my daily ten observations. To learn more about my daily ten, and read the observations that came before these, you can read all previous posts here.
TEN.FIFTY-SEVEN.
1. "True belonging doesn't require that we change who we are, it requires that we be who we are." Brené Brown
2. Just days from the first day of fall we are experiencing a second summer.
3. 6 more weeks.
4. Cold water on my face and the back of my neck, and a cool breeze that passes over me, giving me goosebumps despite how hot I feel.
5. I need to donate some more books to the library.
6. "Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." rumi
7. "The universe is God's self-portrait." Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler
8. Watching them all dance and hop and laugh together. Holding hands, letting go, smiling up at one another. They bring me so much joy.
9. It's been three weeks since he cut his hair. I love it this length. I rake my nails through it and it calms me just as much as him.
10. Time feels like it's speeding up now. I wonder if it is just me, or if everyone feels this sense of urgency.
TEN.FIFTY-EIGHT.
1. I think I am ready now.
2. Funny how you can become emotional about something as inevitable as the passage of time.
3. I look like my mother in this picture.
4. This is the first time this has happened in nearly sixty days.
5. I can either be disappointed or proud - that is a choice.
6. It is amazing how relevant this book is.
7. Readiness comes in waves.
8. I had never really stopped and thought about myself that way. This will require some thought.
9. I always feel a little more alive after our discussions. My sense of possibility is alway greater.
TEN.FIFTY-NINE.
1. They are requiring a bit more prodding this morning, but it is to be expected.
2. I am always hungry now. Was it like this all the other times before? Did I just forget about this perpetual hunger?
3. So many September birthdays.
4. I needed this.
5. "Perfectionism can be your way of procrastinating." Tayari Jones
6. I need to stop more. Pause more. Breathe more.
7. The day keeps getting away from me. This is how you lose time. Hour by hour. Minute by minute.
8. He is a gift.
9. There are some things FaceTime just cannot do.
10. Years and years later and we are finally settling in - just in time to move on again.
Bonus Observation: 39 days until my due date and my baby has a name.
TEN.SIXTY.
1. I have trouble being idle.
2. I feel so much better when it's done, but it takes so much for me to convince myself to do it.
3. The weather doesn't seem to realize the first day of fall was yesterday.
4. This town is not particularly welcoming to those they perceive as outsiders.
5. There are so many people here. I think their collective body heat is making it hotter.
6. They've been gone so long.
7. She is always ready to go. She doesn't require prodding or convincing - she's just ready.
8. I don't place enough value on how healing it is to just be silly.
9. Even though I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to do this, I am excited for it.
10. It has been a long day for all of us.
TEN.SIXTY-ONE.
1. This is the second day in a row I've done this. I need to not make it a habit.
2. I overestimated how much time I have.
3. Not all mirrors are created equal.
4. This is exactly what I wanted it to be.
5. I feel more ready with each passing day.
6. My hips are shifting again. They creak and groan as they settle into their new normal.
7. I should wear flowers in my hair more often.
8. The weekend was so full, but there was love laced through all of it, which makes me mind less.
9. Baby mama blessings.
10. We read such different books and learn so much from one another.
TEN. SIXTY-TWO.
1. Patrice's birthday is today. I went to sleep thinking about that and woke up to the same thought.
2. So many people are now taking a knee, but is the message the same as when one man took a knee, or does it mean something else now?
3. I don't know how much more explicitly I could have stated my directions. Sometimes I think they just don't want to hear me.
4. Our days start earlier than many of our visitors are accustomed to.
5. The spider looks like it's floating. I stare at it, trying to locate the thread that is suspending it, but no matter how many times I squint my eyes, I still see nothing there.
6. These solo morning walks are good for me.
7. This is so much more effortless than I imagined it would be. Maybe I can do this more.
8. I was productive today, but it doesn't feel like enough.
9. I am excited about this new project and the way it brings dormant dreams to life.
10. Take a knee.
TEN.SIXTY-THREE.
1. 35 weeks. One more week until I'm inside of a month. Two more weeks until I'm full term. Five more weeks until my due date.
2. Gentle mornings like these. No rushing but everything still getting done.
3. The green leaves are the outliers; all the others have given over to yellow and orange.
4. So many looming deadlines. So much to be accomplished in what feels like so little time.
5. I forgot about my tea until it had cooled to room temperature again. It was still delicious.
6. We are closer to ready everyday.
7. "Comparison is the thief of joy." This resonates with me, but I also find myself wanting to provide exceptions when this is not the truth.
8. I am managing my anger as best I can, but my patience has worn thin.
9. I am calmer now.
10. "One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." Henry Miller