love letter to myself
i try to stay positive. i try to keep things in perspective, but every now and again doom and gloom roll in and i end up riddled with self doubt. when that happens, i reach out to the people in my life who know me best, and can remind me of what's true.
last week, when i was having one of these moments, i found a letter i wrote to myself months ago, and it was just what i needed.
Dear Satya,
"Right now, can you make an unconditional relationship with yourself? Just at the height you are. Just at the weight you are, [just with how you look today, and with what you have achieved up to this point] with the intelligence that you have and your current burden of pain. Can you make an unconditional relationship with that?" Most of that quote is Pema Chödron's but the stuff in the brackets is yours. Your self doubt is wrong. Everything you want to achieve is possible. You just keep putting in the work and let the universe do the rest. You are going to make yourself so proud. Trust the process, Trust your words. Trust your creativity. Trust yourself. Trust the magic you have that is uniquely yours. You are a strong, beautiful, creative human being. Keep creating. Keep putting love on the page.
I love you.
Satya
sometimes we need to be our own reminders.
self care as stillness
A few Saturdays ago, my husband found me sitting at my computer, brows deeply furrowed, typing furiously at the computer.
"Babe, everything ok?" he asked me.
"Yeah," I replied not even pausing to look away from the screen.
"What are you doing?"
"Just getting some work done."
"When's the last time you took a day off?"
My fingers froze. I looked at him, then up at the sky and tried to remember. I couldn't.
"I don't know," I told him.
"Why don't you take the day off my love. The work will still be there tomorrow."
Without allowing myself time to second guess whether I could afford a day off, or whether I deserved a day off, I closed the computer, because he was right. He had held up a mirror in front of me right when I needed it.
Sometimes self-care is me curled up in a chair furiously writing in my notebook with a cup of tea at my side. I acknowledge that. I need to write to feel like myself, and there is something about checking items off of a to-do list that always gives me a little bit of a rush. But sometimes, self are can also be a morning spent doing nothing in particular, a morning where life happens as it would like without me propelling it in any one direction.