journaling

Living Life on Purpose

Journal

noun

\ ˈjər-nᵊl \

a record of experiences, ideas, or reflections kept regularly

IMG_4224.PNG

Are you intentional with the thoughts, words and actions that you put out into the universe? How can the life you are living be closer to the one you are dreaming of? What do you need to let go of to expand your sense of possibility? 

Taking the time and courage to keep a journal and honestly answer these questions will help you harness your own wisdom and curate experiences that are in alignment with your best self. 

To answer more questions like these, check out Intentional 21. 21 days of affirmations, inspiration and reflection that will shift your perspective and transform your life. 

 

Exploration & Quiet Places

I am taking a writing course called Liberated Lines: Writing a Brave New World, and am still mulling over my answers to questions posed in the first week (we are now in the seventh), so I thought I would share them with you.

 

What do I want to explore?

I want to explore the abundance of life. I want to lean into enough and shed the myth of scarcity that I have woven into my personal narrative for so long. 

My heart wants to know me better. It wants to come into itself. 

Somewhere deep inside I long to explore my own divinity. 

What am I keeping in the quiet?

I am holding my rough edges in the quiet.

I am hiding the parts of me that do not fit neatly into boxes, parts that tumble out and spill over the sides, parts that people wouldn't think were inside of me because of my packaging. 

I am silencing my comfort for the sake of keeping others comfortable. 

 

I have been doing a lot of work to really uncover my truth, and what I have discovered in this exercise feels essential to that.

More soon...

Intentional 21 - A Journaling Journey

Journaling has been a blessing for me from the moment it came it to my life. I began journaling years ago by taking part in a 7 day journaling challenge I'd found on social media, but it quickly became a daily practice that lasted long after the challenge was over. 

Journaling allows me to reflect, dive deep into my own wisdom, and embrace my truth. 

For Christmas I created a 10 day email series of journal prompts for my family and friends. I revised that series and created a 7 day series which I shared with my social networks, and now I am offering a 21 day journaling series called Intentional 21. I am launching the series on March 1st, and it will carry us right into the first day of Spring, with the last email coming in on March 21st. 

Each email will contain a mantra meant to encourage, a quote meant to inspire, and a prompt meant to help you reflect on where you have been, where you are, and where you would like to go.

To participate in this transformative and illuminating series, sign up here. 

 

Daily Ten - Week Eleven

Below is the eleventh week of my daily ten observations. To learn more about my daily ten, and read the observations that came before these, you can read all previous posts here.

 

TEN. SEVENTY-ONE.

1. He looks like a baby again when he plays. The kitten we adopted 8 years ago is all over his face.

2. I know there are things to be done, but I just want to sit here a moment. 

3. She is of me, but before she is mine she is her own. She belongs to herself.

4. I saw the exact moment the streetlights turned out. All at once, like someone, somewhere flicked a switch, and decided the day had begun. 

5. Even though we are running late, we stop to marvel at the rainbow made from sprinkler and sunshine. 

6. "I am made of light. I made made of stars." The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz

7. "Everything is God." The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz

8. I am always hungry but there's so much less room in my body for the food I'm putting in there. 

9. Excitement is pouring out of every inch of him.

10. My lap is full of belly. It won't be long now. 

 

TEN. SEVENTY-TWO. 

1. She looks surprised to see me in the window, even though I'm here just about every morning. 

2. His morning wake-ups are so much different than his midday nap wake-ups. In the morning he rises fully awake and ready to go. 

3. "Take root among the stars." Octavia Butler

4. The streetlights go off in waves. First one set, then the next 30 seconds later. Maybe there is a third wave somewhere that I don't see. 

5. Having a routine is comforting for him. I suppose he is like me in that way. 

6. I definitely thought she was someone else. I don't even know that I can blame this on my pregnancy brain. 

7. I feel embarrassed, like I need to find this woman right this minute and correct my mistake. Why am I making such a big deal of this?

8. "Don't take anything personally," agreement number two. Much easier said than done. 

9. My little bear is tired. I hope that's all it is. 

10. I want to rest and I want to redecorate my room -- at the same time. This is what happens when nesting meets end of pregnancy fatigue. 

 

TEN. SEVENTY-THREE.

1. She didn't say goodbye to me this morning. Over an hour later and I'm still thinking about that. 

2. I am tired, but I don't think I can sleep right now. 

3. I tell myself, "any day now," but I still act like I have all the time in the world. 

4. Everything is taking so much effort today. The simplest tasks are leaving me tired. 

5. "Not enough," is running on a loop in my head today. I have tried my usual tricks to silence it, or drown it out, but nothing seems to be working. 

6. I practice so much restraint to keep other people from thinking I'm "too emotional," but what is that? What is "too emotional," and why do I care if someone thinks that of me?

7. I am trying to remind myself that I am made of stardust  and magic, but there is a voice inside that refutes all my assertions. 

8. "When someone can touch what used to be a wound and it no longer hurts you, then you have truly forgiven." The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz

9. It would be amazing to be so healed. 

10. My bag is, almost, completely packed.

 

TEN. SEVENTY-FOUR.

1. They're playing so well together. They've come a long way. 

2. I'm still thinking about that woman I mistook for someone else at the park the other day. 

3. I'm struggling to talk about the way my body is feeling because I know words have power and I want to affirm my body, but I am hurting. 

4. My body is sending me mixed signals. I'm not sure what it's trying to say. 

5. Once again she tells me things I thought I knew, but clearly needed to hear.

6. He becomes super productive whenever he's worried. 

7. Burger, french fries, chocolate brownie, ice cream. All bribes to keep the baby inside. 

8. It has been quite the day. I hope tonight and tomorrow will be less eventful. 

9. It is nice to see her face after such a long day. She makes me feel warm inside. 

10. My body is tired.

 

TEN. SEVENTY-FIVE.

1. I am trying to savor this feeling as best I can. Trying to create vivid memories for myself of what it felt like to house a miracle -- to be so intimately acquainted with magic. 

2. This is bittersweet. I am ready (I think) but there is still a sadness there. 

3. I don't want him to worry. I don't want him to feel like he has to take on any more than he already does. 

4. So much pressure. 

5. I feel guilty for not tackling my to-do list today. Even under the circumstances I am still giving myself a hard time. 

6. I keep wondering if this is it. I am worried that I'm not ready. 

7. He sees me hurting, comes over, rubs my back and massages my shoulders with one hand, without letting go of the Lego people in his other hand. I can't help but think what an amazing little boy he is, and what a great man he will be one day. 

8. Little Fires Everywhere. Little bear thinks this must be a book about firemen and how they save people.

9. I am running out of pages. 

10. I want to set up his rocker next to our bed. I also want to just go to sleep. I don't want one of these more than the other at the moment which makes deciding what to do tough. 

 

TEN. SEVENTY-SIX.

1. I have entered that phase where I wake up each morning wondering if today is the day.

2. My body is tired. 

3. I haven't been this awake without anywhere to be this early in a long time. 

4. I'm definitely going to need a nap today. 

5. The sound of the rain underneath the wheels of passing cars, tapping on the window pane, pooling on the sill. 

6. I had no intention to nap so much today, but apparently my body had plans it hadn't made me aware of. 

7. We are so excited about these diapers. 

8. I can still make us a meal. I can still at least do that. 

9. This book is captivating. 

10. Prodromal labor. This is new. 

 

TEN. SEVENTY-SEVEN.

1. A good night's sleep will have you seeing the world with new eyes. 

2. The frequency of the passing cars increases and the streetlights go out, each set in their turn. The town is waking up. 

3. He wakes up so full of life, and questions. So many questions. 

4. I am a little better today. 

5. I love the look on his face when I show up to pick him up from school.

6. She's looking at me like she wants my ok, but I can't give it to her.

7. This is an excellent book. 

8. I'd never thought about her quirks that way. 

9. I feel a sense of accomplishment today -- though I don't think I actually did much.

10. He's so excited to play firefighters with me. I want to bottle up this memory. 

Daily Ten - Week Five

Below is the fifth week of my daily ten observations. To learn more about my daily ten, and read the observations that came before these, you can read all previous posts here.

TEN. TWENTY-NINE.

1. The air smells like sage and cedar. The smell is so strong, I almost expect to see a giant smudge stick outside my window. I wonder where it came from. 

2. I need to figure out how to meet some of these lovely people I've met on the Internet in real life. Online networking and community are great, but...

3. We saw a fox on our morning walk. Now it's all they will talk about. The middle one is wondering if anyone has pet foxes. 

4. He is doing better today, but he's not quite at his best. He's still working his way back to himself. 

5. I am better today too, but I can't get my energy to rise to where I'd like it. 

6. We are all missing him. We tell stories about him like he's been gone for weeks, or at least days. 

7. I always thought of this space as temporary, and as much as it has become home, when you walk through you can still feel the temporary-ness. 

8. The movie is not bad so much as it is incomplete. It feels like only an  outline for a story. 

9. I will miss growing and carrying a life inside of me. I will miss the intimacy of this unique experience. 

10. He calls them my Taurus moments. That's not inaccurate. 

 

TEN. THIRTY.

1. I am in love with early morning light. The way it creeps through the window and stretches up the walls until everything is covered in a glow. 

2. Reading her ten has become part of my morning ritual. 

3. My shoulders are stiff this morning. I need to let go of some more. 

4. A butterfly just sailed between us, and they each smiled as they noticed it. I love sharing moments like this with them. 

5. Spiceville. Naomiland, and the Metropolis of Miles. They are so cute. 

6. The sound of rushing water. 

7. It is so easy to connect through laughter. 

8. I wish he didn't have to work so hard. 

9. But I appreciate his work ethic, commitment, and ambition.

10. I finished it! I feel such a sense of accomplishment. It's a little odd. 

 

TEN. THIRTY-ONE.

1. It's 2:23pm. I suppose it is a testament to how busy this day is that I am just now stopping to make this observation. 

2. I need to eat more. 

3. I recognize that I needed a break from telling this story, but now I need to dive back in and I am having trouble figuring out where my entry point should be. 

4. Midday ice cream break in the kitchen while the bear is sleeping, before the girls come looking for me. 

5. The first sentence is always the hardest.

6. I am placing limitations on myself again. I am having to remind myself that I am the one who decides what is possible. 

7. I look forward to a time when anything money-related doesn't cause me so much stress. 

8. We are all tired.

9. He is all knees and elbows today.

10. We should have our own show. Our commentary is hilarious. 

 

TEN. THIRTY-TWO.

1. The streetlights are still on. They don't realize the morning has come.

2. She wears her nerves differently than I do, but that doesn't mean they're not there.

3. I keep smelling coffee.

4. This little bit of morning is mine.

5. I solved the case of the mysterious coffee smell. 

6. She wants to ask me a question, but she knows it's a question she already got an answer for when she wasn't listening. 

7. I am falling down the rabbit hole again. 

8. We hear the woodpecker so clearly, but we cannot seem to find it, no matter how hard we look. 

9. My body feels like it is gearing up for a fight, but I don't know where it thinks the threat is coming from. 

10. Shadow and light. 

 

TEN. THIRTY-THREE.

1. I am so hungry when I wake up. I struggle through my usual 20 ounces of water because all I want to do is eat.  

2. He's doing much better today, I think he's finally turning the corner. 

3. Coconut and almond milk. Egg. Vanilla. Cinnamon. And a bit of all spice. We are out of nutmeg.

4. So many butterflies.

5. I have no patience for the freshmen hogging the entire sidewalk, impervious to my excuse mes, or anyone's excuse mes, or any person outside their bubble. 

6. He is focused, not angry or upset. It took me years to learn the difference. 

7. The images are frighteningly familiar. 

8. This is why I love to read. It is nothing short of magical to feel so deeply and intimately connected to a person you've never met, all because of the way they've cobbled their words together. 

9. I am nervous about giving birth again, but the inevitability of it seems to soften the blow. 

10. It is way past my bedtime. 

 

TEN. THIRTY-FOUR. 

1. I wonder what it is that makes some music touch something deep inside of you, while other music just sounds like yelling and screeching, or something otherwise displeasing.

2. Tomorrow is our anniversary.

3. My feet are throbbing again. Yesterday's hike is probably to blame, but it was worth it.

4. I think the universe has had this woman cross my path to help me work on my compassion.

5. This is way more people than I expected to see out on a mid-Monday afternoon.

6. Tomorrow is our anniversary - I'm a little excited.

7. Just because you admire and respect someone, doesn't mean you have to agree with them all the time.

8. 31 weeks.

9. All of my senses are heightened. I feel more sensitive in every way.

10. I am really excited to give him his gifts in the morning. I feel almost giddy.

 

TEN. THIRTY-FIVE.

1. I'm surprised by the time. My body feels like it should be earlier. 

2. The weather app says the sun has already risen, but I don't see it.

3. Rain seems to lend itself to quiet and thoughtfulness and solitude (in doses).

4. Drops of water collecting and pooling on the windows all around me.

5. I have more than 8 years to be grateful for, but I am grateful for them all the same.

6. The drive home feels shorter today.

7. I just want to sit down and write. Again, I must remind myself that this is productive too.

8. There is a little bit of nervous mixed in with her excited.

9. Laying side by side, talking about the future and the past. This is a gift in itself.

10. Love is a verb.