Personal Myths

There have been many things I have wanted to do in my life, but I told myself I couldn't for one reason or another. I told myself I couldn't be a nurse because I wasn't good at science. I told myself I couldn't be a writer for a living, because it was such a competitive field, and I didn't have the talent to make it.

I told myself a lot of things. But it took me a long time to stop and realize that I was the one making those decisions. I wasn't actually bad at science. It wasn't actually impossible for me to make a living as a writer. These were just things I told myself.

I was the one deciding what I was and was not capable of, and just as easily as I told myself I couldn't do something, I could have been telling myself that I could. We are all that is standing in the way of our own greatness. What believe about ourselves becomes our reality.

Sometimes we tell ourselves the same story so many times that we start to just accept it as truth. We forget that we can change our story. We can use the power of thought to dream up amazing things for ourselves, and just as we made negative myths manifest, we can also bring the positive to fruition.

Who Are Your People?

We live in a society that supports independence. This is not an inherently negative character trait, but when we get caught up in a world solely of our own making it can be dangerous. Just as businesses, governments, and even clubs, need a system of checks and balances, so too do each of us.

We need to have people in our lives to act as devil's advocates, to be our sounding boards, to reel us in when necessary and even to give us a brutal dose of honesty from time to time when it's warranted. This is not to say we should always do what we're told, but hearing opinions that are not our own allows our mind to go places it may not have gotten to on its own.

You can still be an individual, and you can still craft a unique identity, while considering the stance of others. In fact, doing so can really strengthen and elevate your thoughts, which in turn fortifies your actions, and ultimately enhances your reality.

Through the Eyes of Babes

If you're walking too quickly, if your eyes are cast down at the device in the palm of your hand, if your mind is too busy with the tasks you didn't get to yesterday and the ones still left for today, you may not notice.

You may not see the tiny purple flowers pushing their way up between mounds of dead leaves and half frozen earth, or the tiny buds sitting perched atop barren tree branches. You may not notice that most of those buds are patiently wrapped up inside themselves, waiting for nature and spring and a shift in the air to give them the go ahead, while others, in a burst of enthusiasm and optimism, are already showing their colors.

They signal to the birds who spend their mornings singing their gratitude for the blessing of another sunrise that spring is not only on her way, but that she is here.

I watch my little boy watching the world, and his noticing gives me permission to be still, to be present, to be of the world and not just in it. 

You Are Enough

Sometimes I get this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. That feeling says that my dream is too big. That nagging feeling tells me my writing is not that good. That nagging feeling tells me I'll never be as good as this author or that author. That nagging feels me that I am not enough exactly as I am, and that nagging feeling is wrong. I am enough and when self-doubt starts gnawing at you, know that you are enough too.

My self-esteem is a work in progress. I have come a long way from where I started, but each day I take some time to practice loving me exactly as I am, with all of my flaws and weaknesses and imperfections. Some days though, are harder than others, but at my core I believe I am a good person, and that person doesn't change because I'm having writer's block, or because someone criticizes me or my work. I have great hardware. I have a solid foundation. And sure there is room for me to grow, change and build but I have to have faith in the strength of my character and the beauty of my soul.

There is no one on this planet who can be you, besides you. Your unique being contributes to the world in a way that no one else is able to. It is OK to have ambitions and there is nothing wrong with pushing yourself, but don't push so hard that you forget to take stock of how amazing you are right here and right now.

Morning Rituals

I have three kids ages 10, 8 and almost 3. To say my days are busy would be a serious understatement. It is very easy for me to make it all the way to the end of the day and feel like I barely got anything done. One minute I'm making everyone breakfast, I blink, and somehow it's almost 11pm, and my to-do list is still sitting there looking neglected. Because of this, my morning rituals, have become extremely important. 

Here's what I do:

1. Wake up by 6:30am at the latest (hopefully without the aid of the alarm).

2. While still laying down, take 3 slow deep, intentional breaths and say the day's affirmation 3 times (this week's affirmation is "I trust my words").

3. Make the bed (unless my husband is still sleeping in it).

4. Write in my #ANote2Self Journal and check in on where I am in the lunar phase.

5. Write my Morning Pages

6. Check in with my Passion Planner

*I also make it a habit not to check social media or email for at least an hour after waking, and I do oil pulling and drink at least 24 ounces of water before I eat anything. 

I try to keep the list simple, so that I can accomplish them pretty quickly and set myself up for success. My morning rituals set the tone for my day. Rather than jumping out of bed and running on adrenaline for the first hour or two, I'm able to start my day with intention and a clear head. 

How do you start your day?

Top 15 Lessons From 2015

I used a Passion Planner for the first time in 2015, and I absolutely loved it. I love the way it breaks down personal and professional to-do lists, and helps me bring focus to my days. One of my favorite parts about the planner though, is that at the end of every month there are reflection pages, and one of the prompts on these reflection pages asks you what your top 3 lessons from the month are. It was so helpful and insightful to be able to go back through all of the lessons I'd learned in 2015 that I thought I would share them with you.

1. Not everything is for you. Not every door will open for you, and not every door that opens for you is meant for you to walk through.
2. Productivity is just as much about taking care of yourself as it is about checking off items on your to-do list. 

3. Even if you are only taking baby steps, what matters is you are moving forward. 

4. Sometimes you need to step away from the work. You need to give yourself room to breathe and put things in perspective. 
5. Don't say yes just because you're afraid of what will happen if you say no. 

6. Everything will happen as it should, in its own course, which may or may not be as you'd like it to.

7. Never give up. It's OK to think about giving up, but don't actually do it. 
8. Just because the day starts off on the wrong foot doesn't mean it has to stay there. 
9. Your value is not attached to a dollar amount.

10. More than one route can be used to get you to your destination. Just because you change direction doesn't mean you won't get there. 

What lessons did you learn in 2015?

What Dreams May Come

This year did not turn out the way I expected. Who I was at the beginning of this year is not who I am now. 

I feel like I have been altered on a soul deep level. 

There are few similarities between the life I projected out into the future this time last year, and the one I am currently living. 

A lot of this has to do with my love of research and planning. I like to see the road out ahead of me and anticipate what's coming. When I commit to something I read up on the subject at length and create whole files dedicated to ensuring that I am prepared for all potential outcomes, but that's just not realistic. That's not how life works. 

There is no way for me to foresee everything that lies ahead. It is not possible for me to plan for all of life's circumstances, and these are truths that I have been working through and am still in the process of making my peace with. Doing this has required that I stop micromanaging myself.

Everything in life does not need to come attached to a deadline. 

There have been (and I am sure will be) many times when I get so caught up in the end game that I forget to enjoy the process of creation. Milestones are wonderful and should be celebrated, but the milestones are the highlight reel. All that stuff in between: the struggle, the hard work, the tears, the determination, the good days, the bad days, is what make the wins so sweet, because you know all you did to get there. 

My 2015 was a very goal-driven year, and there is nothing wrong with that. It taught be a great deal. But I want to try something different in the year to come. 

2016 will be a journey-driven year. 

A year to fall in love with creating again, and a year to give my head a break, so that I can listen with my heart for a little while. 

Highlight Reel

We live in a time when the whole world is a swipe or a keystroke away. Social media allows us glimpses into the lives and thoughts of family, friends, co-workers and even perfect strangers. 

With people sharing intimate events like the birth of their children, proposals, private family moments and more, we can end up with a false sense of intimacy.

We can sometimes think we know how a person is doing because we've dropped in on their page or commented on a recent post, but there are sentiments that can't always be conveyed by words on the screen. Beyond that, what many people post on social media or chronicle on their blogs amount to a highlight reel. 

Just because it doesn't look like someone is struggling doesn't mean they're not. Just because everything looks "perfect" from the outside looking in, doesn't mean it is.

Just because a person only or mostly shares their triumphs, doesn't mean their challenges don't exist. 

Feeling pain and hurt and despair and sadness is often presented as a weakness. It can be tough to express those feelings in a public forum, which is why many times people don't. The person we present to the public does not always reflect the fullness of our journey.

We need to remember that people are more than what they post. 

Sometimes I Feel Like a Fraud

My amazing publicist, Chief Executive Officer of Opal Consulting, Chanelle Figueroa, told me about something called Imposter Syndrome. To put it simply, Imposter Syndrome is "a term used to describe people who are unable to internalize their accomplishments"(thanks Wikipedia). I'd never heard of it before, but the more I read about it, the more I realized I've been dealing with this syndrome for most of my life, but it's really been rearing it's head in the last year since I decided to be a full-time writer. 

When I post my weekly mantras and words of advice on my various social media platforms, sometimes I feel like a fraud. I look at my profile and from the outside it looks like I have it together, but there are many times when the last thing I feel is "together." So I look at my profile(s) and feel like the person I am presenting to the world is not the real me. Not the authentic me. Not self-doubting, second-guessing, on the verge of quitting me. 

But it would be unfair to myself to pretend that those pieces of me are all of me. The mantras, the words of advice, the "real talk" are part of me as well. They are the best versions of me. They are the things I tell myself when I'm self-doubting, second-guessing and on the verge of quitting. When I share those parts of me, it is not an attempt to mask, hide, or otherwise deny my struggle. I share it in hopes that someone somewhere, who is struggling just like I am, will see the words and be encouraged. 

Now while that is part of it, there is definitely a part of me that is afraid to share my rough edges. Scared that others will see them and reduce me to the sum total of my shortcomings, and that scares me. So, I hesitate to share my challenges in a way that I don't with my triumphs, but I am working on that. 

Everyday I remind myself that I am a constantly evolving, ever changing, bit of creation in divine motion. I am not perfect, and it is not my intention to pretend to be so. That is absolutely not the goal. The goal is to be human. Beautifully human, with all the flaws, vulnerabilities, talents and gifts that that entails. The goal is to show up as me, every day, and as long as I'm doing that, I'll never be a fraud. 

Verses in Peace

I have been given the honor of editing Gun Free World Initiative's first poetry anthology! 

Gun Free World Initiative seeks a shift in culture around gun ownership. Gun Free World strives to encourage intentional conversations that will create a safer world one person, one conversation, one community, one gun at a time.

As a part of this initiative, GFW is compiling an anthology of poetry addressing gun violence and imagining what a gun free world might look like. 

Submission Guidelines

• Submission must be a work of poetry
• Submission should not exceed 100 words. 
• Submission should address gun violence and/or what a gun free world might look like.
• Submission can not have previously been published online or in print. 
• Entrants may submit up to 3 entries. 
• All submissions must be sent to GunFreeWorld(at)gmail.com by January 1, 2016.  Please include a short bio with your submission.

Entrants will be notified whether their submission has been accepted by March 1, 2016.

Compensation

• One (1) copy of the anthology
• One (1) ticket to the GFW Visual Arts Exhibit in Philadelphia, PA (Date TBA)

By sending in a submission you confirm that your acknowledge and accept the Submission Guidelines and terms of Compensation.